Undecided voters. Time Magazine polled a bunch after the debate. Florida is so close that undecideds might tip it, which might tip the election.
Who are these people??
Who, after everything that has happened in this election season, is still making up their mind?
If you’re wondering, you’ve come to the right place. After careful research, I’ve determined, not just who they are, but what they’re waiting for. So here are the top 20 reasons that voters are still undecided.
Reasons voters remain undecided
- Need more time to decide if Trump actually respects women. He seems to have a problem, but I’m just not sure.
- Waiting on Clinton’s missing 33,000 emails. Once they retrieve those, I’ll read them and decide.
- I want to see what color pantsuit Clinton is wearing in the next two debates. I haven’t decided if I trust her fashion sense yet.
- Holding out hope for Biden. If he jumps in, I’ll vote for him. He’s just the cat’s pajamas.
- Waiting to see if Donald Trump will say something really bad that disqualifies him for the presidency. You know, like invading Canada. Or inviting Russia to join NATO. Or deporting all the Catholics.
- Checking out pics of the beauty queen Alicia Machado. If she’s really as fat as Trump says she was, then that means we can trust Trump.
- Until Trump’s foundation is convicted of fraud, I trust him. Only an actual prosecutor and judge can decide if he broke the law.
- Take my cue from Aunt Tillie, who gets all her information from Facebook. Once she decides, I’ll do what she says.
- Want to vote for Clinton, but if my husband overhears me tell a pollster, he’ll hide the TV remote. Can’t miss my soaps. Or The Voice.
- Ready to vote for Gary Johnson, but first he needs to cite a world leader he admires. Other than Justin Trudeau — that’s too obvious.
- If my daughter becomes pregnant, will vote for Hillary Clinton to preserve abortion rights. Until then, I can’t see why it makes a difference.
- Have to finish reading Anne Coulter’s book, decide if I agree with it. Change we can believe in. Damn, that’s Obama. Whatever.
- There’s still an open question of whether Trump originally supported the Iraq war. Once that’s resolved, I can choose.
- Haven’t yet heard candidates positions on Puerto Rico statehood. The silence is telling.
- If Cubs win the World Series, will vote for Trump. Because that means we’re in the bizarro world.
- Waiting for media to figure out who really started the birther thing about Obama. If Clinton did it, like Trump says, then I can’t vote for her.
- I’ll decide after I watch the sniffle/shimmy videos from the debate. They’re so revealing.
- Want to see final fact-checking score. While so far Politifact says Trump lies three times as much as Clinton, if she lies enough in the last few weeks she could catch up.
- I’ve gone cashless, so I can’t find a coin to flip. And the top reason voters are still undecided. . .
- Is there an election going on? I didn’t hear about it. Who’s running?
7 responses to “Top 20 reasons voters are still undecided”
Cute, but not substantive and so biased. Here are my responses:
1. Need more time to decide if Trump actually respects women: He doesn’t respect anyone, women included.
2. Waiting on Clinton’s missing 33,000 emails: She embodies a culture of secrecy in a government marked by a culture of secrecy and overstep. She’s not the one to face the NSA or solve our big lack of government accountability.
3. I want to see what color pantsuit Clinton is wearing in the next two debates: How do you think Trump’s hair is looking? Couldn’t see where the cheeto aura ended and the hair began?
4. Holding out hope for Biden: Sorry. Don’t have anything for this one. But I suspect the DNC wouldn’t work against his campaign like they worked against Bernie’s. The one thing I will say for Trump is that he won despite overwhelming odds and the establishment working against him.
5. Waiting to see if Donald Trump will say something really bad that disqualifies him for the presidency: He’s an incoherent, funny and untrustworthy narcissist. She’s a totally unlikeable, smug and untrustworthy calculating snake. (Oops. Sorry. That was sexist! Not allowed to comment on HER personality.)
6. Checking out pics of the beauty queen Alicia Machado: Ah, you said it right there, “beauty queen”. She wasn’t a lawyer or a plumber. She had one job. Look good and represent the brand. Was their a clause about her weight in the contract? Too bad she had such an as*hole for a boss. It’s another issue entirely if you think beauty pageants themselves are sexist.
7. Until Trump’s foundation is convicted of fraud, I trust him: Let’s assume he’s guilty. Let’s also assume that Hillary is guilty. Not only of thinking she is above the law but backing wars we can’t afford. And slut-shaming the women that her husband sleeps with into silence because their rights are not to her advantage.
8. Take my cue from Aunt Tillie, who gets all her information from Facebook: My FB feed trends raging liberal as does the majority of US mainstream media. I have enough cues. Don’t need Aunt Tillie.
9. Want to vote for Clinton, but if my husband overhears me tell a pollster, he’ll hide the TV remote: Try telling any of your friends that you want to vote for Trump and watch the fallout and the ridicule.
10. Ready to vote for Gary Johnson, but first he needs to cite a world leader he admires: Or the fact that he had a brain freeze when questioned by Aleppo. Instead of these stupid “gotcha” moments so loved by the Hillary spin machine, why aren’t we focusing on how intelligently he is able to speak about the Syrian situation? Or his track record as a governer? Why is it again that he’s not included in the debates so we see more than these very biased sound bites about him? https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10209068281297708&id=1638516046&comment_id=10209072232716491¬if_t=like¬if_id=1475243744392598
11. If my daughter becomes pregnant, will vote for Hillary Clinton to preserve abortion rights: Maybe she can also send her into a war that is not to our advantage. That way she can be equally unsafe.
12. Have to finish reading Anne Coulter’s book, decide if I agree with it: Yeah, that’s right. If someone doesn’t support Hillary, they love Anne Coulter, white supremacists, ignorance and Hooters.
13. There’s still an open question of whether Trump originally supported the Iraq war: Let’s just assume he supported it instead of calling Sean Hannity.
14. Haven’t yet heard candidates positions on Puerto Rico statehood: Sorry. Here’s another one I don’t have a response for.
15. If Cubs win the World Series, will vote for Trump: Coin toss works too.
16. Waiting for media to figure out who really started the birther thing about Obama: Clinton obviously smeared Obama, but now it’s expedient for her to cosy up to him. Let’s just assume she didn’t start the birther controversy since usually those are the types of things Trump likes to start. Clinton’s moves to manipulate public opinion are much more sophisticated because she has a different audience.
17. I’ll decide after I watch the sniffle/shimmy videos from the debate: Why weren’t there more people on that stage again? Maybe we could have caught someone farting.
18. Want to see final fact-checking score: Trump lies Bigly. She’s way more surgical. Kind of like her husband dissecting what the meaning of ‘is’ is.
19. I’ve gone cashless, so I can’t find a coin to flip: I’ve got a coin. I can flip it for you.
20: Is there an election going on? I didn’t hear about it. Who’s running?: Depends on where you’re getting your news. I think there are just 2 candidates and one established order. One of the candidates represents the establishment, and the other… Well, not sure exactly WHAT he represents. But I sure love seeing how he scares the people trying to create our illusion of choice.
Are you undecided?
Which candidate do you hate more?
It’s honestly the first election I have been undecided. I really hate them both equally. I probably focus a little more on my hate for Hillary because I see the bias in her favor everywhere – especially in my social circle. Ask me on any given day based on the last thing I’ve read or watched and I can give you a different answer. Right now I’m thinking Gary Johnson which is essentially a vote for Trump since I live in FL.
Undecided because the pollsters think there’s only 2 people running for the presidency, and when you say “neither of the above” they take it as “undecided”
This is a disappointing bit of BS writing. Or maybe it’s not BS – I guess its intent was clear. You like Hillary. If you didn’t, you’d have “humorously” included a few of her negatives as reasons to procrastinate. My current point of procrastination about voting is whether I should abstain from voting top-of-ticket or write in somebody. What’s disappointing is not that you like Hillary (that’s your right – or left). But your blog purports to help writers, not push left-wing candidacies. Please stick to that purpose, where you are effective.
In response to the last comment: I don’t find this or any of your campaign-related posts disappointing nor BS – rather I find them right on your brand, which is why I subscribe to your blog. You declared early on your political bias and throughout the campaign you’ve been calling out calling out ineffective communication, that has sadly overtaken this election. Clearly there are important issues that should be front and centre* of this campaign, sadly they’re not.
* spelling intentional – I am Canadian…so no surprise that I found Question 10 “obvious”!! What is a surprise as an observer, as your neighbour and friend that embraces democracy and America’s leadership role with it, is the absence of substantive discussion/debate about issues that will impact your lifestyle (and ours, as well as the rest of the world) presently and for the foreseeable future. The parties aren’t, nor is the press (aren’t they supposed to be the voice of reason, a critical check and balance for democracy?). Someone has to call out the BS. Thank you Josh.
Josh, you’ve made the big time – the (no humor) Trolls have targeted you! Now, US or Russian trolls? Or both?
Keep it up…