Captions from yesterday’s Oval Office meeting between Trump and Mark Zuckerberg. . .

“Power is sexy, don’t you think?”

“See, my hands are big. Very big. Yuge!”

“On the Twitter, it’s totally free speech. Totally. Anyone can say anything, pretty much. You should look into that, they’re very successful.”

“Do you know how to get sharpie off a computer screen?”

“2020 is going to be a very good year for you . . . if you behave yourself. You’re better off with me than Pocahontas, have you figured that out yet?”

“I just joined and these really sexy ladies keep asking to be my Facebook friends. It’s awesome. I’m so glad you built that thing.”

“That tie looks a little short. You don’t wear one very often, do you?”

“Troll is such an ugly word. Those Russians are good people. I’m just sayin’, don’t be judging so quickly.”

“Good old American coal would really help you power all those computers you have. Look into it.”

“I’ve seen your wife. She’s damn hot.”

“Can you get something down off the internet? You can do that, right?”

“Yeah, I control the antitrust. I could tell them to look into you. People would love that. Keep it in mind.”

“So you know what’s in everyone’s account? Nancy Pelosi? Pocahontas? President Xi? Jay Powell? I’d love to get a look at that stuff.”

“Very bad haircut. Yeah, I see where your hairline is going. Let me introduce you to this guy I know. . .”

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