Things that make you go “Hmm,” April 5, 2019 πŸ€”

They used to tell us that politics would be better if more people got involved. Now, with Facebook and Twitter, nearly everybody is talking politics. Better? πŸ€”

Motivational speakers spend most of their lives on airplanes and in hotel rooms. Is that the life you aspire to? πŸ€”

Thank the Lord for social media sharing. When I’m speaking on stage, most of my jokes are about stupid things people have done. Facebook generates an endless supply. (Feel free to use my mistakes in your speeches.) πŸ€”

That guy on stage doesn’t actually know more than you. It just sounds better because he just practiced saying it a lot more times. πŸ€”

Ideas are like weeds. The ones that spread the fastest aren’t necessarily the ones we’d be proud of growing. πŸ€”

Now that I’m on Facebook, I see my friends way more often. It reminds me how much I miss seeing them. πŸ€”

Facebook generated 80% of the traffic to my post on how irresponsible Facebook is. πŸ€”

“Grow big first, figure out how to live responsibly later” is the disruptive startup’s mantra. It’s also a terrible principle for raising kids. It does generate some entitled bullies, though. πŸ€”

I think mobile phones are sentient beings. They break and slow down so we’ll need to buy new ones. They manipulate designers and engineers and factories to make more of themselves. They grow addictive apps so we can’t live without them. We’re just part of their ecosystem. And it’s no longer symbiotic. πŸ€”

Working at home means I can wear whatever I want. Now videoconferencing is threatening my carefully curated life-“style.” πŸ€”

Did you ever notice that when your computer crashes and you lose a file, rewriting it is faster and the results are better than what you lost? Maybe we should trash our drafts on purpose. πŸ€”

I tried to save a file somebody else was editing. It saved as “conflicted copy.” That’s too confusing, it could be the name of every bit of text I’ve ever written. πŸ€”

The weight loss industry is the one place where customers’ repeated failure is good for business. πŸ€”

There’s a place in Boston that exists solely so you can Instagram pictures of yourself being happy in it. Everyone there is miserable.πŸ€”

Photo: Happy Place via Boston Globe

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2 Comments

  1. > “Did you ever notice that when your computer crashes and you lose a file, rewriting it is faster and the results are better than what you lost?”

    I have found that other people don’t always like to be told this just after their computer has crashed and they’ve lost a file.

    πŸ™‚