Lora DiCarlo’s CES sex toy press release made me ecstatic

Continued">

A sex toy called Osé from the company Lora DiCarlo won an award at the Consumer Electronics Show. Then the show’s organizer, the Consumer Technology Association, took the award away. Lora DiCarlo founder Lora Haddock’s pointed, honest response is one of my favorite press releases of all time. Obligatory content warning: If it bothers you … Continued

Kohler’s fully immersive flagship intelligent toilet experience

Continued">

CES, the consumer electronics show, is the apotheosis of overblown technology demos and promises. Exuberant press releases abound. Kohler’s bathroom products are now fully digital, connected, and interactive — so it must compete on hype with the likes of Facebook and Samsung. Let’s just say that after reading the company’s latest press release, I’m flush … Continued

Yahoo for Verizon: A soporific press release fails to inspire anyone

Continued">

Verizon bought Yahoo to combine with AOL and build an online media empire from cast-off spare parts. But its new management can’t seem to write a press release that’s credible, let alone run a media company anyone would visit on purpose. Here’s the logo for the new brand: Because apparently Verizon Media Group, formerly known … Continued

Antipodes Pride’s pusillanimous, passive, pointless police press release

Continued">

The Auckland, New Zealand police and Auckland Pride, an LGBTQ support organization, were unable to come to an agreement about police marching in the Pride parade. They did, however, produce one of the most oblique, passive, and ultimately pointless media releases ever posted. This is what happens when you’re not sure what to say, but … Continued

The new owner of Dictionary.com and Thesaurus.com abuses a thesaurus

Continued">

Rock Holdings, parent company of Quicken Loans, has acquired Dictionary.com and Thesaurus.com. The resulting press release is a perfect example of how an idiot uses a thesaurus. I know this press release was supposed to be funny. Funny is different in a press release. I salute that. And it worked: Google News shows 7,570 articles about … Continued

Adobe acquires Magento to become “shoppable” — and maximally buzzword-compliant

Continued">

Adobe announced yesterday that it would acquire commerce platform Magento for $1.68 billion. It’s clear that an army of lawyers and PR people spent days crafting the 1001-word announcement, with is laden with highly refined, state-of-the-art tech-vendor bullshit. So let’s take the announcement apart. I’ll highlight jargon in bold and meaningless weasel words in italic, and … Continued