Stupid Quora questions

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Some people think that the Q&A site Quora has now lost its appeal. What I’ve found, though, is that it’s become a sort of parody of itself, with the questions sorting themselves into familiar categories. Here’s a sample of what you might find . . . can you identify them by type?

Q1. Who is the most interesting person you have ever sat next to on an airplane?

A. (697 upvotes).

Flying first class between Delhi and Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia, I immediately settled into my seat and took a nap. Upon awakening, I was surprised to see that on the left of me was the famous scientist Stephen Hawking. While he was bereft of his speaking device at the time, we were able to communicate easily through the insights I gained form watching his eyebrows move up and down.

On the same flight, in the seat on the other side, was the real estate developer Donald Trump. Once Mr. Hawking had tired of “speaking” with me, I turned to my right and began conversing with Mr. Trump, who proceeded to tell me an amazing story about his magnetic appeal for women. (He was flying commercial because his jet was undergoing maintenance.)

This was probably the most interesting flight, edging out the time I was sitting next to Lady Gaga and Ringo Starr on a trip to Cleveland for the opening of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame . . . .

A. (3 upvotes).

I met a traveler from an antique land, Who said– “Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert . . . .Near them, on the sand . . . ”

A. (0 upvotes).

I’ve never been on an airplane.

Q2. Why did Josh Bernoff choose to write about bullshit after a successful career as an analyst?

A. (26 upvotes).

I found that after 20 years as analyst, I had simply lost interest. What did interest me, however, was how inefficient communication was — from people pitching me, from my colleagues, and in almost everything that appears in writing. So I resolved to . . .

A. (416 upvotes).

Cowardice. There is no other explanation that makes sense.

A. (0 upvotes).

Who is Josh Bernoff?

Q3. What is the solution to x²-3x+2=0?

A. (297 upvotes).

Please don’t use Quora to do your algebra homework.

A. (16 upvotes).

Use the quadratic formula.

or (3±√1)/2

that yields 4/2 or 2/2, that is, 2 or 1.

A. (24 upvotes).

Factor it

(x-2)(x-1) = 0, so x=2 or x=1.

A. (0 upvotes).

Historically, the problem of quadratic equations and how to solve them was studied by the 12th century Jewish mathematician Abraham bar Hiyya (Savasaorda), who developed the technique of completing the square. Using his technique on this particular problem . . . .

A. (0 upvotes).

What does the little raised 2 mean?

Q4. Why did Barack Obama conduct satanic rituals in the bowling alley in the basement of the White House?

A. (7,916 upvotes)

Obama’s Muslim upbringing separated him from the moral traditions of Christianity. So when he formed a cabal together with Hillary Clinton, Marilyn Manson, Donna Brazile, and Bill Maher, it was inevitable that they would fall victim to the appeal of devil worship. His wife’s unfortunate connections with . . . . .

A. (4,316 upvotes)

You are clearly here only for the purposes of trolling. Obama, having never had anything but the country’s best interests at heart, is constantly subject to attacks from people like you. A careful review into your own background however, reveals that . . . .

A. (3 upvotes)

Where can I learn more about Satanism?

Q5. How can you get girls?

A. (4 upvotes).

As I describe in my Kindle book “What Women Want,” the first step is to change how you dress. I can tell just from the way you phrased the question that you are an uneducated slob. Then, as I describe in detail in Chapter 2 of my book, “What Women Want,” now available for $9.99 on Amazon, you must go to where the girls hang out. For example, in my own home town of Sheboygan, Michigan . . . .

A. (291 upvotes).

You’re going to have to change yoru attitude. “Girls,” as you call them, are actually better thought of as “women.” And you cannot “get” another human being, and as surprising at is seems, yes, women are another form of human being. Please, Judge Moore, take a moment to consider the life experiences that have left you at this moment with such twisted and unfeminist attitudes.

A. (1 upvote).

OK, I got one. What do I do now?

Q6. I have just drunk two quarts of vodka. I’m not feeling very well. What should I do now?

A. (836 upvotes).

Call 911 immediately. Then throw up.

A. (16 upvotes).

Your question reminds me of what happened at a party when I was a 20-year-old freshman at Penn State. We had gotten together at a wild fraternity party and the punch, which was 2 parts crystal light, 2 parts chardonnay, and 26 parts pure grain alcohol, was running low. Just then a young woman of questionable virtue . . . .

A. (3,161 upvotes).

We’ll miss you.

Question and answer categories

Q1. Fishing for stories. Lies/literary/clueless.

Q2. Baiting famous people. Honest answer/character assassination/clueless.

Q3. Homework cheating. Teacher guilt/showoff answer/showoff answer/showoff answer/clueless.

Q4. Trolling. Fellow troll/opposing troll/clueless.

Q5. How to. Promotional/nasty/clueless.

Q6. Provocative. Serious/digressive/?

10 responses to “Stupid Quora questions

  1. The site went well during it’s testing period. Lots of great questions that made you really force yourself to think.

    Just lately though, I’ve found it to be the internet’s latest childrens creche. Some of them too young to ask relevant questions so they just play the “why” game for the attention, and some of them just old enough to be useful idiots for manipulation and ask loaded political questions. It’s DEFINITELY time to dump Quora.

  2. Q7. Why can’t I find these questions on Quora? Alternatively, did Josh Bernoff make up these lame questions, and the ensuing outrageous answers, just to write (a very funny) article?

  3. I use to like Quora and have contributed a lot of answers to the site, just a time killer for when I’m bored. Lately the site seems to want to be like Facebook, and I’m frankly sick of Facebook. Lots of stupid questions and stupid answers anymore…and the whole thing is more of a popularity contest than informational, as of today.

  4. It is worse. They routinely delete or collapse any reply that calls out any insincere questions that fall into the six categories above. It also seems to me that the moderators automatically delete something that is complained about, even if the asker is an obvious troll or some other species of professional annoyed. This is clear because some far more rude, obscene and disrespectful comments are left untouched.

    Quora argues that they cannot censor idiotic questions or support for stupid theories as that wold be interfering with free speech. They seem to want to have it both ways, whichever happens to suit.

    As Quora repeatedly finds in favour of imbeciles, attention seekers, fabulists, trolls and some simply nasty people over sensible and level headed contributors such as myself then it is clear that they do not want me on their site.

    So I am copying the texts of all my useful contributions, for future publication in some other way, then deleting my account and all the contributions.

  5. when I opened a profile on Qoura in the beginning everything was fine , until stupid questions started arriving such as “where can i buy a brain does anyone know” , I was annoyed and my eyes started to hurt because I was giving answers to those stupid questions I suddenly opened my eyes and realized I need to delete the profile thank life, that I no longer have to read their stupid questions .It was a nightmare

  6. Thank goodness I have found these comments. I have replied to various inane comments on motor vehicles (I am a motor vehicle tradesperson, then university graduate) on topics such as oils, handling and fuel. I believe my contrary comments were deleted. Then it seems Quora removed me from their list! Do I care? Nope!

  7. And not to forget All of their answers are copied from other sites like Wikipedia , they are not that smart they just present themselves as if they are smart but they are not .They write that they are better than Google , Google is the best, Quora is bullshit .

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