President Trump’s unseen draft tweets about Alabama

Image: New York Daily News

President Donald Trump backed the evangelical Republican favorite Roy Moore in the Alabama Senate race, who lost to the Democrat, Doug Jones. Given his penchant for nasty revenge tweets, his response so far has been muted . . . but you haven’t seen the drafts he never sent.

Here’s what he said:

These tweets are not only civil, but also, except for the part about Luther Strange’s numbers going up, actually true. Roy Moore was an an unusually flawed candidate. The large number of write-in votes and lower-than-normal turnout among white voters created an opening for black voters, who surged to the polls for Jones.

What did Trump really want to tweet? I cannot tell you how I got them, but here are some draft tweets from his account that didn’t ever get tweeted:

Bannon never should have gone on stage in Alabbama. Sneaky, creepy bastard is better at writing and planning than speaking.

Couldn’t stop all those black people from voting in Alibama. Sad! Merry Christmas, Allabama: kiss those white, Christian . . . er, conservative values goodbye.

Fake news Wash Post lies about Moore and eight different women, not credible. Yearbook signatures forged. Why not go after liberal Jones, appointed by Crooked Bill Clinton? He only prosecuted Christian bombers, never muslims.

I sent a stretch limo but Roy Moore insisted on riding in on a horse. Bad look — reminded too many of his 19th Century Values.

Friends in Bama told me thousands of Haitians were lined up to vote. FRAUD! But failing CNN is silent. Treason!

My speech in Pensacola was aimed at Florida, a swing state. Alabaama is 46 miles away. P.A. mike was busted — nobody up there could here me.

Party-boy Mitch McConnell never should have weighed in on this race. Alabara voters go their own way — all he did was rile up the underclasses.

Tax plan still set to pass this year, before Dem takes Alabanana senate seat. We still have 51 votes to cut wasteful welfare and Medicaid. Alabamma, 6th poorest state, will pay for last night’s bad choice.

White voters stayed home in Abalama. 45 degrees — too cold to vote. Polling places and DMV voter reg too far away. Outcome would have been different otherwise.

Blabalamba is not like rest of America. Candidate couldn’t seduce the young electorate. GOP will still win in ’18 in solid south, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, with candidates whose philandering, if any, is with girls past age of consent.

 

6 responses to “President Trump’s unseen draft tweets about Alabama

  1. You might want to reread what you wrote, unless there are two men named Roy Moore–one Democrat and one Republican.

  2. OK, a joke is a joke, but enough already. I don’t read this blog for stand-up comedy routines – I read it to enhance my writing skills and analytical thinking. Can we get back to those things, please?

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